To Charlie on your 4th birthday,
Hey baby, I don’t take birthdays for granted anymore. So, you turning 4 years old is A. Very. Big. Deal! And I still call you baby because I want to keep you little forever. And no matter how big you get, you will forever be momma’s baby. Even if you become a big football player or play in a garage band, you’ll still be my baby.
We’re breathing a little easier these days. Your treatment is complete, your hair is growing back, and you’re slowing coming around to the idea of potty training. And after hanging steady at 34 lbs for all of chemo, you’re growing like a weed and eating us out of house and home.
You are witty and funny. You love to play games- “statues” – freeze tag, musical chairs, hide and seek, and will try to convince everyone to join in the fun. You still hoard everything. You love to collect things. Just this week, while waiting for the big kids to get off the bus, you collected one million acorns from under the big oak tree and wanted to know if I could make you an acorn pie. I love your ingenuity and resourcefulness.
You started pre-k this month and make us play school at home and it gives us a glimpse into your fun times at school.
We made a big move this summer. To Upstate NY. Which you have handled well. Except at bedtime when you ask when we’re going back to our house and it breaks my heart a little and I explain again that this is our new home.
You love, love, love your dad. He is your hero. You’re big and well enough to be rough and tumble with Owen now. And you want Sadie to give you cuddles at night. But you and I are still very much attached at the hip. This past year has bonded us like nothing else. Which is so bittersweet.
None of us know how much time we’re given this side of heaven. But I’m certainly thankful for the time we’ve had, cancer and all. And I’m looking forward to watching you grow and change this year and for all the years to come. You’re little, but you’ve made a big impact already on this world. I know that God has used you, our story, and our small faith to point to Him. But I think there’s more to your story and how God will use you in the future.
Your life verse is Jeremiah 1:5 and it’s written like this in The Message,
“Before I shaped you in the womb,
I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations—
that’s what I had in mind for you.”
I can’t wait to see what plans God has for you, my dear Chubbers. Your momma will be here, cheering you on, loving you and squeezing you tight as long as I have breath in my lungs.
I love you. A lot.